Not being naturally extroverted can make it challenging to approach someone. It’s natural to be anxious and worry about everything that could go wrong when meeting someone you don’t know, such as ‘I’ll surely say something foolish’ or ‘I’m so awkward.’ Unchecked, feelings like these might induce you to avoid social contact and reinforce your negative beliefs, even if they are incorrect.
If you feel awkward or lack social skills, it may be due to social anxiety. According to a study, 90% of people will suffer social anxiety at some point in their lives, so if you are uncomfortable around others, you are not alone. The good news is that social anxiety does not have to mean living in hiding, unable to communicate or make friends.
That’s very natural. Approaching a stranger has much excitement. It also has all of the scary dangers, including discomfort, mistrust, and rejection. This makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. It can be dangerous to venture outside your established tribe (a holdover from our caveman days, whereas remaining in your comfort zone ensures your protection. Let’s be honest: other people can be intimidating!
1. Think about where you approach someone
It can be not easy to grab a person’s interest on the morning commute because they may be browsing on their phone or hurrying to get to work on time. If you want to generate opportunities for more natural methods, consider where you go and what you could have in common. It could be where you work out, a concert, or an evening class. This makes it easy to open up a conversation based on your shared interests, and you can read clues from the other person to determine whether they are also romantically interested. If someone starts bringing up their partner in conversation, it’s obvious they’re attached.
Related Read: Online Dating Safety Tips
2. Use a friendly approach
A friendly greeting gives a positive first impression. Because most people experience some level of social anxiety, being nice allows them to relax and feel more comfortable opening up to you. Being pleasant makes you more approachable, reducing the need to approach someone in the future. The best way to welcome someone in person is to smile, greet them happily, and ask about their day. If you’re starting a conversation online, use signs and emojis to convey a cheerful attitude. A pleasant greeting is an effective technique to set a nice tone for a conversation and will make future interactions simpler to approach.
3. Acknowledge your fear
Let us not pretend that approaching someone is easy. Even after approaching thousands of people in my life, I still feel that obvious spark when I approach someone I like. That evolutionary circuitry runs deep. So I won’t urge you to “master your fear” or “embrace the risk”; that would be like urging you to become bigger. Instead, accept your fear and acknowledge the hazards.
That alone will significantly reduce the sense of fear. Another effective method to overcome worry is to ask oneself, “What is the worst that could happen?” Our worst nightmares rarely come true. At the very least, you’ll learn about yourself and improve your approach. Remember that outstanding approaches don’t come from complete confidence. They come from a true acceptance of your fear and a determination to say hello anyway. Your fear does not weaken you; rather, it makes you human. And humans enjoy meeting other humans.
4. Introduce yourself
It may seem obvious, but introducing yourself is an important first step when approaching people. If you have anxiety, the longer you hold up, the more anxious you will become, making it more difficult to introduce yourself. Because introductions are expected to come first, hesitating to introduce yourself can make people feel less comfortable talking to you. Whether it’s your first day of work or you’re attending a meetup or party, get introductions out of the way as quickly as possible. Walk up, introduce yourself, and offer a strong handshake. When it’s their turn, try to say their name before exiting the conversation. This will help you remember it and is a successful method for making a positive impression.
5. Communicate that you are normal
This might be the most practical piece of advice I can give about approaching. In a world full of weirdos, psychopaths, and individuals who are always looking for something from you (and believe me, most girls are trained to anticipate guys falling into one of those categories), it is your responsibility to establish yourself as normal as soon as possible. You do this with each step you take. Your approach is kind, gentle, and patient.
Your body language reflects confidence and friendliness. Through your words, “Hey, I’m sorry to bother you while you’re having breakfast, but you seem cool, and I wanted to say hello.” Together, these portray you as safe, steady, and normal. Every successful approach requires the other person to believe you can be trusted. Bad approaches, even from good guys, frequently occur when the other person senses a hidden purpose or a negative goal. Remember that as long as you appear secure and normal, it is tough to make a mistake, even if your approach fails and your senses tell you otherwise.
6. Lean in to get close
Trying to introduce yourself across the room can be awkward, and standing too far away makes it difficult to communicate and sends unfriendly signals to others. Try to get close enough to shake their hand or hear them speak in a low voice, but not so close that you lean forward and crash with them. Following this rule allows you to get closer to people without appearing creepy or strange. If you’re wondering how to approach a new group of people, the ideal option is to integrate yourself into the group.
Avoid the urge to choose a seat outside of a circle or in the back of the room. This will make it difficult to communicate with others while also sending antisocial signals that you want to be alone. Instead, take a seat near someone and lean in when they speak to you. This will indicate that you desire to be included and make it easier for others to approach you.
7. Don’t linger if the other person seems uninterested.
It is critical to take a quick approach and move on if the other person does not appear interested. Turning someone down may cause the other person to fear a negative reaction, so be prepared to be polite and leave. Being overly persistent can make someone uncomfortable, so pay attention to their behaviors, such as turning away or becoming anxious, and respectfully move on from the topic.
Related Read: Is She the One? 12 Signs That She is the Right One for You
8. Use positive body language
Communication is more than just what you say. Your body language includes your facial expressions, gestures, and posture. It’s an essential part of communication. Making good eye contact, leaning in, and maintaining an open stance all contribute to positive body language, which attracts others. Because many people experience social anxiety, positive body language makes you appear more warm and approachable. Positive body language encourages others to approach you, chat with you, and open up to you.
Final thoughts
When you don’t know someone well, approaching them and starting a conversation might feel awkward and even intimidating. It’s essential to remember that most people are nice and ready to meet new people, have meaningful conversations, and form friendships. Keeping this in mind can help you approach people and find methods to connect with them. Furthermore, because practically everyone suffers from fears and social anxiety, taking the lead in approaching people can help them feel less anxious.
Using these tactics not only makes it simpler to approach others but also increases the likelihood of others feeling comfortable approaching you. Don’t forget to trust your senses when talking to someone, since their signs and body language should offer you a decent indication of whether they’re interested in continuing a romantic relationship. Why not try to gain the guts to approach someone you like? You never know where it will lead you, and the opportunity might never come around again!
